Why Anger Turned Inward Becomes Depression
So many of my clients come to me with depression. But as we explore together, what often surfaces is something else underneath the low mood, exhaustion, and shame: anger. Not loud or aggressive anger, but a quiet, internalized fury — usually directed at themselves.
This self-directed anger is nearly always rooted in childhood. They were never given permission to express anger safely. Instead, they learned to suppress it in order to avoid punishment, preserve connection, or maintain the role of the 'good' child. Over time, that repressed emotion doesn’t disappear — it turns inward, morphing into depression.
I know this pattern intimately. I didn’t realize I was angry for years. I just thought I was tired. Quiet. Moody. Foggy. Unmotivated. Too sensitive. Too much. Not enough.
But underneath all that? There was anger I had no language for. Anger I had no permission to feel.
As children we can learned anger isn’t safe. It makes adults uncomfortable. It breaks connection. It can be aggressive, and disrespectful. The problem is, if not expressed, it is internalized. It turns inward and becomes a slow-burning depression that saps joy, and a sense of self.
The link between repressed anger and depression is well-documented in psychology. When emotions like anger, grief, and shame don’t have a safe outlet, they don’t disappear—they morph into symptoms: brain fog, fatigue, hopelessness, chronic guilt, even pain.
Anger turned inward becomes self-blame. It becomes the critical inner voice. It becomes the learned helplessness that tells you there’s no point trying. It becomes the flatness of life lived on mute.
Many of my clients don’t identify as angry. But they carry resentment, bitterness, irritability, and numbness. These are the residue of unspoken anger. And until we give anger a place at the table, it will keep knocking from underneath the floorboards of our mental health.
You are allowed to be angry. Especially if your boundaries were crossed. If you were silenced. If your needs were unmet. If you were told that love meant compliance.
In fact, naming your anger is often the beginning of healing.
You don’t have to scream it. You don’t have to throw things. But you do need to acknowledge it. Anger is the emotion that says, "Something important was violated." When we allow it to surface, it can help us:
Reclaim our voice
Set clearer boundaries
Feel safe in our bodies again
Reflection Questions
Where was I taught that anger wasn’t allowed?
How do I respond when I feel frustrated or dismissed?
Is there something I’ve been silent about for too long?
What might my depression be trying to express on my behalf?
Gentle Next Steps:
Try the Emotions and Inner Child Healing Self therapy session in my Simply Self Help Etsy store
Learn more about emotional suppression and somatic processing via my Substack series
If you feel stuck in guilt or hopelessness, take one of my burnout quizzes to explore how deeper emotional fatigue might be showing up: Workplace, Parent/Carer, Neurodivergent
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You are not broken. You are not a burden. You are someone who deserved to be heard, and is learning how to listen to herself again.
Let anger be a signal—not a sentence.